native eyes

As I pass the streets of Hawaii i see beautiful faces surround the crisp ocean air. I see beggars at night, who put on an act or paint there faces to pay the rent. As I stay in a some-what expensive hotel i can't help but notice the view of the unfortunate households that stray up the hill. Past the resorts and the smiling tourist, you can see the true people of Hawaii. The dark skinned people that don't burn for the look but because all they own is a swim suit and a surf board. They chase there dreams in the blue toned ocean passed the slanted eyed tourist. pass the full filled dreamers that see it on TV, but where the heart of the soul hearted surfers lay. Young, old and middle age browned skin people who with hold the look of passion and love for the alphas precious gift. when they wake up early to catch the first 5 am wave they then set back and watch the sun rise over the water. the mist clear and the anticipation form.

auf wiedersehen

Dear momma lets be honest,

things don't always work out like people promise.

God made things happen upon us.

It is out of our control.

Only god can lead our soul.

He shall make our family whole.

Things have gotten hard.

Many things have left this family scarred,

but the pain shall be forgotten or discarded.

I'm sorry for the things I have shouted,

but my words and wisdom shall not be doubted.

Momma you are your own person,

if you fallow your heart you shall not worsen.

Forget what words might say,

you have to wake up and walk in your shoes today,

and tonight with your mind your going to have to lay.

Other peoples thoughts you shall not obey.

I am your daughter and I'm not ashamed,

for the things that happened you are not to be blamed.

"The past is the past" I have proclaimed.

A new day and a new challenge remains.

So don't cry those tears of pain.

When I leave tomorrow on that train.

Happiness you shall sustain.

See me and you have been through,

hard times of deep deep blue,

but dear momma don't think for a second I do not love you.

Eleven tries to look in my mothers eyes

The time is one am on the dot. (1:00am)
I'm very scared at the moment.
I feel like god put me on the spot
and I'm scared to stay ferment
The time is one oh three
and I feel like i can truly see
threw the fucked up web
passed the block of manipulative lead
The time is one oh five
and i feel numb and alive
a new start has not be tried
but the tears i cried now have dried
The time is one oh eight
and I still have a massive amount of weight
on my shoulders they lay
mother or father should i stay?
The time is one oh nine
I'm running out of destructive time
I want to be happy
my mind is running but my mouth is sticky and sappy
The time is one ten
my mind has not yet had a win
my words will not send
the realness it fends
The time is one eleven(1:11)