Whoa is Mace really speaking? Well yes, it has been quite some time since iv sat down in my little computer chair and wrote what was actually on my mind. See I write when I'm not with my boyfriend, inhaling my herbal essence or starring at my self in the mirror. Which, for the past month or so, that's really all iv been doing, and for some reason I thought that was enough for me. Like that that was all i really needed to do to be happy. Which, when I was floating in the sky it seemed way easier to believe that i didn't need anything else on earth.
So after I passed out at six pm last night, I woke up at three of course and couldn't fall back asleep. Typical right? Well when I was starring at the emptiness of my room my brain began to think, and think and think. And then i started to cry. I thought about my mother, my brother but mainly about myself. How i was never good enough, and how i was all alone in my life. I tore my self up like i always do when I'm alone. But, I was alone, which meant i wasn't up in the sky, or i wasn't looking at my self in the mirror which meant that i must write...
h
It's a weird night in the nboro, seems things are different with the night aura. Yeah I'm awake at the time where it's either to take or break it. Its all little funny how, once your in this shit it's hard to take back power, I'm all caught up and a sly game where everything seems all plain but in the realization nothing seems the same as it use to be and things are different from the old me. Priorities and task good things are just in the passed. Went from every sport in the book to sitting back so high like a stealer and crook. Doing things more times a week then in the past i would never think, damn shits got me shook.. When did i end up not seeing or taken that second look, first thought i do it on the spot, damn what am i doing? I look in the mirror and see that I'm loosing, god help me get out of this ditch that I'm in, before i began to pick up speed on this broken track, before i can't see the wrong and i can't go back. Maybe i need someone to save me, to trip over my hole and the ground and see.. that I'm deep deep under, but naw for them it's not even a wonder, a guess or a thought, it's not what is in their story or plot. Getting away with too many things that now it's engraved in my wings to them it's not what it seems too much freedom will have you alone in a big broken down kingdom, I'm sitting in my throne with my toy soldiers I'm the only one with the simple heart beat.. but yet I feel like i'm at defeat.
So after I passed out at six pm last night, I woke up at three of course and couldn't fall back asleep. Typical right? Well when I was starring at the emptiness of my room my brain began to think, and think and think. And then i started to cry. I thought about my mother, my brother but mainly about myself. How i was never good enough, and how i was all alone in my life. I tore my self up like i always do when I'm alone. But, I was alone, which meant i wasn't up in the sky, or i wasn't looking at my self in the mirror which meant that i must write...
h
It's a weird night in the nboro, seems things are different with the night aura. Yeah I'm awake at the time where it's either to take or break it. Its all little funny how, once your in this shit it's hard to take back power, I'm all caught up and a sly game where everything seems all plain but in the realization nothing seems the same as it use to be and things are different from the old me. Priorities and task good things are just in the passed. Went from every sport in the book to sitting back so high like a stealer and crook. Doing things more times a week then in the past i would never think, damn shits got me shook.. When did i end up not seeing or taken that second look, first thought i do it on the spot, damn what am i doing? I look in the mirror and see that I'm loosing, god help me get out of this ditch that I'm in, before i began to pick up speed on this broken track, before i can't see the wrong and i can't go back. Maybe i need someone to save me, to trip over my hole and the ground and see.. that I'm deep deep under, but naw for them it's not even a wonder, a guess or a thought, it's not what is in their story or plot. Getting away with too many things that now it's engraved in my wings to them it's not what it seems too much freedom will have you alone in a big broken down kingdom, I'm sitting in my throne with my toy soldiers I'm the only one with the simple heart beat.. but yet I feel like i'm at defeat.
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